INNER WEATHER
by Nik List
ABSTRACT:
How’s the weather outside? Is it cloudy? Windy? Sunny? Now, turn inward and do the same: monitor your emotional landscape, your inner weather. How would you describe it? Outer weather and inner weather share similar characteristics. So why not treat emotions as passing clouds?
WHERE DO I STAND?
Weather can’t be controlled nor contained. Amidst the storm, where do I stand? Do I stand in the rain? Or seek shelter and watch it from the window? Ditto for emotions. We can stand in the emotions, identify with each one, experience their full blast. Or move to the backseat and observe them from afar.
Language trips us up. ‘I am sad’. Is the sadness really who you are? If so, what’s left of you once the emotion subsides?
Have you ever taken a flight on a cloudy day? As the plane rises above the murk, the sky clears up, we’re lifted into the light. Likewise, a warm presence underlies all transient emotions. This backdrop provides a haven from which we can watch the emotional traffic go by.
ROPE BURN
Which season do you prefer? I love spring. The smell, the haze, the mist… But seasons come and go, like everything else. Are we able to enjoy the flux and entertain preferences without clinging to them?
Clinging causes suffering. ‘I prefer spring’ leads to ‘I desire spring’ > ‘I’m sad when spring is over’ > ‘I cling to spring’ > ‘I dislike other seasons’ > I’m miserable nine months of the year. Clinging to impermanence is painful. Try grasping a moving rope, you’ll get rope burned.
The same applies to inner weather. Throughout the day, clouds move across the inner landscape. Emotions pass by like traffic on the expressway. The mind labels, judges and clings to each car. But emotions are just clouds. They arise, they linger, they lift. Why dramatize the process?
THE PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING
We associate emotional states with exterior conditions. Sun, I’m happy. Rain, I’m sad. If I’m lonely, I need a relationship. If I’m bored, I need drama. We spend our lives chasing fleeting experiences in an attempt to tweak inner states. The new phone, the new garment, the next meal, the next holiday. It’s consumerism 101.
Freedom comes from unlinking inner weather from outer conditions. ‘True happiness lies within.’ As trite as that sounds, it’s true. There’s something deeper, much more fulfilling than any transient experience in the material world. Within lies a peace that passes all understanding.
THE RIVER WITHIN
In order to feel the river of change within, be still. Observe the inner landscape. Everything is shifting incrementally from one moment to the next. Thoughts fly by, one emotion gradually leads to another. Just sit back and watch the show.
Once we feel the river within, we can decide where to stand. We can stand in the river, and experience emotions full blast. Or sit on the bank, and witness thoughts and emotions pass by. Or even remove ourselves totally — the river is flowing, trees are growing, clouds are passing by. No subject, no witness, no duality. This is a decision we make in each moment.
THE LOVING MOTHER
We spend our lives fleeing negative emotions. We attempt to cancel them with music and entertainment. When mental discomfort arises (boredom, sadness, stress..), we cover it up with scrolling and snacking. But these stopgaps always fall short. As soon as the headphones are removed, as soon as the phone is turned off and the bag of Doritos is sealed, the mental chatter resumes, along with the emotional unease.
Another option is to address the passing cloud of emotion. What thought is triggering this feeling? Sit down and focus your attention as you fly through the turbulence. Breathe with the emotion. Judging it and pushing against it only feeds it. Thich Nhat Hanh recommends holding the emotion like a loving mother, in the same way one would tend to a child throwing a tantrum. Grant it the attention it’s clamoring for. Let the storm abate. Once the emotion feels totally accepted, it lifts.
THE SACRED PAUSE
‘I am sad.’ ‘I’m stressed.’ ‘I’m bored.’ Let’s reframe those statements. For example, instead of ‘I am sad’, try ‘There is sadness’ or ‘Sadness is being experienced’. Or just ‘Sadness’. Do you feel the slight shift?
Emotions can be reduced to transient sensations in the body — a tightness, a contraction, a weight on the chest. There’s no need to add judgment, labels or possessives to the experience. Do you beat yourself up for the clouds in the sky? Why would you do so for inner weather?
The beauty of impermanence is that everything passes. Fog always lifts. Instead of immediately reaching for your drug of choice (phone, junk food, headphones..), catch yourself. Take a moment. Breathe deeply. Break the conditioning. Let the wave subside. Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away.